But the main reason to take my relationship advice is that it really isn’t MY advice

But the main reason to take my relationship advice is that it really isn’t MY advice

Why cheerleaders live happily ever after

  • Bookmark

Last summer when my brother was getting married, I inundated him with the science of happily married couples. I wanted to give him a guide to not making the mistakes I had made. My “best woman” toast was very nearly a litany of advice.

It was a bit much for him. “Why would I listen to my DIVORCED sister when it comes to managing my marriage?” he once teased, trying (in vain) to shut me up.

Well, given what I’ve learned about happy marriages, I think there a few good reasons to listen to me-more on that in a minute-but first, I gotta be straight with you: I was not particularly good at being married the first time around. I picked a terrific person-my ex-husband is a great guy-who was totally wrong for me in just about all the ways that count.

Enthusiastic Spouses Have Happy Marriages

I try to practice what I preach, and that means practicing some things that I definitely haven’t mastered yet (like using non-controlling language when I ask my kids to do things).

This is how people get good at things: They challenge themselves to the point of failure. Athletes do it. Entrepreneurs do it. Personally, I’m working on being a gold-medal parent and spouse. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t lost some races along the way. Continue reading