Whether your relationship is going strong, or you’re experiencing times of conflict

Whether your relationship is going strong, or you’re experiencing times of conflict

Whether you’re just starting out, or have been together thirty years! These ten hot tips have been shown in the research to improve intimacy and happiness in relationships and families.

1. Don’t assume your partner knows what you want and need from him/her

Assumptions like this can breed resentment and disappointment when it turns out your partner isn’t aware of a particular need.

It’s not uncommon to have thoughts like, “If she really cared she would just know to do X.” The problem with this is that we all have different expectations of each other. We often learn these expectations implicitly – from observing our parents, or from movies, or from friend’s relationships. We’ve all learnt different strategies for different situations, so our assumptions of what is appropriate are likely to differ.

Talk with each other about what you need and what you prefer. For example, “When I storm out of an argument in tears, it makes me feel cared for if you follow me to comfort me,” or “When I storm out of an argument in tears, I’d really appreciate it if you’d leave me alone to clear my head, so I can come back and discuss it when I’m calm.”

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