In reality, you simply can’t know what is in someone else’s head or heart, or hear someone else’s inner dialogue

In reality, you simply can’t know what is in someone else’s head or heart, or hear someone else’s inner dialogue

Your partner may be suffering immensely on the inside, or may be in a state of denial regarding his or her actions.

Heck, I’ve seen people here who swear that their spouse masturbating to porn constitutes cheating!

1. Your spouse doesn’t think they were really cheating. To me, this is more common than you think. But you say, “everyone knows what cheating is!”, but do they? I’ve seen it on the blogs. No doubt there. But what if it was one small, drunken kiss? Or an emotional sort of connection only? (that one is bizarre to me, and indicative of some other personal issue on the part of the “betrayed” spouse in this case). Another ran a blog for a year, whining about how less than two weeks of “steamy emails” between her husband and a woman constituted cheating and turned her life upside down and how she could never get past it, despite the fact that she admitted she was a workaholic, avoided sex and fully neglected her spouse. And for the record, yes, emotional only (non-physical affairs) are wrong and do constitute “cheating” to me, but in her case, most of us felt that she was engaged in a vast, vast overreaction to what had occurred, failed to acknowledge her own role in the neglect of her spouse, and frankly ruined her marriage unnecessarily. Continue reading